They were incredible! Mira and Helen were gorgeous! The band sounded amazing live!
I am generally not the biggest fan of live music, but I would not have missed this for the world! Best concert I have been to, by far!
I bought, legally, Gravity the Seducer at the show. It will be playing in my car for the next forever. It's such a strong album. I really don't ever feel like skipping any of the songs! I am in love. <3 As they were setting up they uncovered and moved Mira's Korg to the front of the stage, not far from me. My heart skipped a beat. I was within feet of her for most of the show. They played a lot of good songs, including two of my favorite songs from their new album...they played "Mirage" early.
and finished their main set with "White Gold" from the new album. It was one of the highlights! I had chills when she sang, "it cuts like a knife".
They also performed some favorites from Velocifero.
The surprise of the night for me was when they whipped out "Discotraxx". It was a wonderful surprise! :D
Of course, they performed "Seventeen". It's never been my favorite of their songs, but when they performed it they had SO MUCH FUN, which made it fun to watch! I really loved it!
Mira sang her Bulgarian songs. I did wish she sang "Season of Illusions". She did perform "Fighting in Built Up Areas" and it was fucking intense! I couldn't take my eyes (and ears) off her. She was all over the place! It was pretty much way better live! I am not gonna lie!
They finished the set and we demanded their return!
They came back and announced....
I almost cried. Everyone was swaying/swooning. The perfectly-colored lights were swirling. It was beyond magical!
Then, they pulled out their secret weapon...Helen even had to take off her headband she got so into it.
What do you expect? It was a huge crowd pleaser...because it's like one of the best songs ever! I remember I used to watch the video/listen to this song on repeat and smile at the part where Mira lifts her dress and apparently has magical snowstorm undies. I would also just listen to the song on repeat.
They REALLY went all out with this song! Helen was really getting into it!
I would have liked to hear "Versus" because I love that song and I would like to Daniel sing live. I would also have loved to hear "Melting Ice", but it was an amazing show anyway. If they played all the songs I wanted to hear, the concert would be hours long.
I could not really be a happier Ladytron fan right now! I can't wait for the next one already.
I done fucked up.
But honestly, the more I think about it. It wasn't that big of a fuckup. I flirted with someone a couple times. A friend (Aaron) told me this week that I was flirting with a classmate. I also posted on his facebook that I thought he was hot.
Krishan and I talked about it last night.
He had found a text to Aaron saying I didn't want to talk about said classmate.
Now he won't talk to me. At all.
The big thing here is: I DID NOT CHEAT! I didn't. I couldn't. I wouldn't.
It didn't happen and it wasn't going to happen.
I had been drinking so I was a little over the top with guilt.
When Aaron told me what I was doing...I freaked the fuck out.
I am just wondering if this is as big of a fuckup as he or I think? Am I that bad of a person? I know I should have gone straight to Krishan, but I didn't know how to deal with it yet. Does this prove that I am as untrustworthy as he says?
I told him how much I love him and how I would never cheat. I hope he heard me.
Shitstorm. That's how I describe my day so far. It's been raining shit nonstop.
But it's one of those things where I have to laugh at it.
I just have no idea what else could go wrong. But I am certain it will.
Was called in last night. No problem. I made demands. All was good.
One of them was to get off work by 5am.
*I got home. Winding down to sleep.
I go to plug in my laptop. The love of my life. Only to find it is plugged in.
So, my laptop is dead and I am praying (even though I don't subscribe to that) that it is just the adapter.
*I decide then I should go to bed.
But no! Sleep? What? I was stuffed up, coughing...etc.
Lay in bed for like 2 hours. Finally get up and head to school to get good parking.
*At school it's so bright. I am trying to log into the computer. I can't. I can't type or spell. My brain is just not having it. Whatever. I was super hungry anyway.
*Except nowhere was open for another 2 hours.
*Ran into Marilyn. We met in her office about my animation for festivals. I look at her wall and I notice people graduating. And I realize within the next few terms I will be losing many of my friends here. :,(
I still have a goddamn year.
*I get to my class. It's a mac lab. Not only this one, but the next one as well. 9 hours in a mac lab. I HATE MACS!
*The teacher is really nice, but not too exciting. As I haven't slept for almost a day I am struggling to stay awake. I almost feel drunk.
*So I am facebook stalking and trying to entertain myself.
A former coworker starts talking to me. He tells me that one of our former clients died. That's 2 out of 6 of the guys who lived there now dead. WTF?
The only thing I feel that is keeping me from laughing/crying at the same time is the fact that I can't access my laptop. All my work. All my play.
I can set up my old desktop, but I can't use half of the programs I often use on there. Especially editing software so I can finish my animation. IF I can get back on to be able to get a hold of my files. I have to get to my ae and premiere pro files. Bad.
This. Doesn't make me want to laugh....just cry. I just might have to do that.
Actually, the funniest thing about it all. Is that I don't feel like crying. I don't feel like much of anything.
Flu or sinus infection or cancer or whatever. Plus pms and full moon and.
I can't accomplish anything. I am choked up by commercials and Law and Order and Paul McCartney on SNL and absolutely NOTHING AT ALL.
I think I might go to the doctor tomorrow. I have had this fever for days. I can't even shower, because my skin hurts so much from the fever. All of my muscles seem to be aching, including my legs and feet. I am starting to cough up some questionable (and really gross) material. My sides hurt from coughing. I even pulled a muscle in my back coughing. Only one side of my abs is really being effected...I am gonna have a 3-pack. I can only really sleep if I am not in so much pain. My head hurts. Nausea and heartburn. My ears are hot...and sweating on the inside. My eyeballs hurt and often feel hot...like they are now. It's a little weird to me.
Last night was the worst. This night isn't shaping up to be too much better.
And I haven't been able to call in sick because there are like 3 whole staff in the whole house.
Ok, so it took me like 10 minutes of watching and the appearance of Keanu Reeves to figure out I wasn't watching Law and Order.
I finally had a mental breakdown.
After being sick, workings a buttload, still being sick, and keeping up with school. It all fell apart. I am very very overwhelmed.
I missed 2 classes because I was sick and had less than 2 hours of sleep. I have to go in on Saturday. I am behind on everything.
I couldn't register for classes because I don't have enough student loans.
I couldn't call in sick.
I know I am getting my period. That doesn't help the emotions.
Then I had 3 nights of bad dreams. Not scary in the conventional sense. Creepy, disturbing... Last night was the worst. I had 5 bad dreams in one night. They are all bringing up the same two painful memories.
I woke up and was really upset.
I felt all these really strong things. I was extremely disturbed and insanely sad.
Krishan called and said he'd come over. I cried for a very long time and then we talked until I had to go to work. He comforted me and then started helping me form a plan to get things done. Wrote down things that were bothering me, then we chose the ones that we could work on in the very near future. The key word is "we". He said he wants to help me with these things. Get caught up. Reduce stress.
I feel very lucky. He wants to help instead of just running away. He's so understanding in that way. He also isn't as effected by my emotions. I do wish I could be that way.
One of my worries is that nobody will ever get me. He seems to think he gets me. I think he and I have been through a lot of the same things. I guess, we will see if he really does. I fucking hope so though. I feel that there was step up in the relationship.
When I got to work I found out I wasn't the only one left in a daze by Black Swan. So was my boss (the cool one). But her girlfriend (much like Krishan) wasn't that effected. I oddly feel like we have a lot in common. Not just basic things, but even how we react to and handle everything...including people. I really do have a soft spot for her. Which is mostly why I didn't call in.
As relieved as I feel about a lot of stuff....I still have a lot of stress. A lot to catch up on. I am just glad, for once, I don't feel like I have to do it all alone.
I realize I only write in here when things go horribly wrong. I don't write that often, though, so I think that must be a good indication.
Other than the work suckfest(not the fun kind) life has been pretty nice, busy, but nice.
I was ready to hit the send button to a lawyer if that shit didn't get taken care of, but luckily I was informed in time that the creep was not going to be there. Nice.
Anyway. I have been working on an experimental animation for a class. It's the one I am most excited about. Enough that I think about it a lot and want to be working on it when I am supposed to be doing other things.
I am also working on a production and have an advanced animation class, but I am not half as excited about those. Which is ridiculous, because 2 of the things we work on in production class are going to be on tv in the pdx area...regularly. They are ads. One for a hair salon and one for a non-profit that tries to get kids involved in music. And in my advanced class I am animating Snooki. It's a lip sync thing, and the audio clip is George Takei calling that school board member a douchebag. Don't ask how this came about. The people in my class are quite a unique bunch and I love every minute of it.
Back to the experimental animation. My instructor wants to submit our work into festivals. She seems excited about my project, but I am not sure if she's like that with everyone else, too. The more I get done, the more I want to do. I can't wait to be putting it all together. I even have a song that Krishan wrote to be in my ending and credits. I just love his lullaby, and I asked if he wanted it to be in the short. He's excited to have it recorded and put into the film.
I am auditioning voice actors tomorrow. I can't sleep. I won't get any I am sure. Probably won't last the entire day. Maybe just that one class. I have most of the narration written. I just have so many ideas buzzing through my head. Not even a whole xanax can calm me down.
I did eat sugar for the first time in a long time tonight.
It was a good valentine's day. I suggested we get a whole bunch of arby's and have a candle-light picnic on my living room floor. Krishan was all for it. We also had champagne and watched a movie with Zach Galifinakas. It was a good time.
I may write something worth while.
I am feeling quite manic today. I have lots of energy suddenly. I feel creative, motivated, clear-headed...etc. I don't know what's gotten into me, but I like it.
Just in time for finals!!! :)
I want to paint my brain right now. I don't think it's possible.
Is it the wind? Is it the Coldplay? Is it the dramatic weather? Am I finally getting over sugar? Is is Bipolar?
I don't know. I probably shouldn't question it too much. But I feel like if I can figure out what it is.....maybe I can stay this way?
I can't imagine a life like this. I want it so bad, though.
Don't want to take my meds. I don't want them to screw this up.
I think I have SAD.
I don't want to do ANYTHING.
I am just about to have my 2nd nap.
I don't want to eat.
I am not sure who I should talk to. Maybe nobody. I don't really want anyone to have to put up with that.
I am, however, gonna eat Vitamin D's like candy.
Get your shit together.